Kobe, Fat vs. PHAT, and a church in Paris

Paris the Parishioner

So Paris miraculously found God through her experience in pseudo-prison? Can somebody please explain to her that simply being on your knees all the time doesn’t necessarily qualify as ‘prayer’. I found it pretty funny when Sarah Silverman made that joke about the Sheriffs painting penises on the jail-bars in order to make her feel more comfortable, but it left me wondering if Sarah is going to offer her own as a model?

Buss/Kobe Ongoing Family Saga

Will somebody put a muzzle on Dr. Buss’ kids? Eldest son, Johnny, has now added his two cents into the whole Kobe saga when he intimated that is was time to trade Kobe on his (of all places) MySpace blog. Ok, first of all my man is 50 years old and a member of the Buss family, what the hell is he doing with a MySpace page…let alone dropping bombshells like that through his blog? The guy has never been affiliated with the Lakers in any way, shape, or form. The most impressive thing on his resume to date is the fact that he ran the Los Angeles Sparks for a few years. My Gawd it must be nice to be born into an exorbitant amount of money, prestige, and privilege. I guess the guy found time away from his busy schedule as a nude photographer and picking up Daddy Buss’ scraps and leftovers to log on. Normally, I wouldn’t be worried by this, but the guy is actually currently on vacation with Dr. Buss in China. Message to Lil Johnny: Have a drink, take a few of your cute little pictures, and bang your leftovers, but please leave the official Laker business to the professionals.

Soap-box admittedly, but I was simply too annoyed…

For the first time in about 6 years, I have recently had the opportunity to watch daytime television regularly for a period of about 3 weeks. I’m convinced that combined with social pressure and the media/entertainment industries, society is truly trying to make women hate themselves. Every commercial, show, magazine, and conversation seems to be related to this star’s weight-loss and the next big pill or diet that will prodigiously make you lose 50 lbs. overnight. They attack you on your weight, on your breasts, on your behind, hair, height, and just about everything else possible. They play on your natural insecurities and make you feel insubstantial, vulnerable, and self-conscious all with the hopes of forcing their ridiculous and unnecessary products upon you. Let me clue you in from an honest man’s perspective: We don’t truly want those humdrum, shapeless, boring and bland stick-figures. While we love seeing you all dolled up and pretty with all the products and make-up, a vast majority of you have a tremendous amount of natural beauty that we appreciate more than you realize. And if you want to change the way you look, lose weight, or go through miraculous make-overs then do it for yourself and your own benefit. Please stop listening to the nonsense you see on tv, and who gives a damn about what Ms. Spears or Ms. Lohan was wearing and how they looked in it. Those people live in fantasyland anyways, and lets be honest, is it really all that glamorous to have your ‘snatch’ all over the web while you race in and out of rehab every other week?